The last few weeks of my journey were a combination of waves trying to go away from the scary ocean but always find themselves housing to diverse creatures. I somehow feel like my journey is coming to an end thinking that traveling alone for 10 months is enough and that I can not afford to continue. “So what now, Haze? Are you going back home? Are you ready? Do you feel excited?,” I asked myself. Continue reading “Going Back Home is Scarier Than Being Away”
It’s two in the morning and I just woke up from a nightmare. A nightmare of you and I. What was once a dream just turned into bad images I get in my sleep. I used to always write about my feelings, the ones that involve romantic heartbeats and frustrations. But that was when I was younger – you know, puberty hormones. When my friends knew that I’ll be traveling alone indefinitely, they got excited not for the places that I’ll be exploring but for the chance of me finding someone who would take my breath away. I shrugged it off. That’s not even in my priorities. The main purpose was to know more about the world and myself. The thought of someone who’d take my breath away while traveling alone is beyond my expectations and not even close to any possibilities. At least, that’s what I thought. Continue reading “He Is My Unexpected Destination”
As human beings, it is normal to have the desire to have a lot of material things and to feel different emotions. We sometimes tend to find satisfaction from having something new in our life – new gadgets, clothes, shoes, etc. Even feelings make us feel like “real” humans. The feeling of being in love or even getting hurt can be an indicator that we’re still alive at times. What we do not notice most of the times is we are getting too caught up with what we think is essential for our existence. We tend to convert these illusions into a black hole. We think that material things are important to prove the world that we can keep up with the fast-changing society. That person who we consider “the one that got away” makes us hope that there will still be a chance for him/her to come back. The bitterness of being dumped by someone; the frustration of buying that camera we always long for or; even the disappointment of not being able to join that out-of-town trip. It is totally fine to feel these things, but what we usually fail to see is that we unknowingly let these frustrations take over our future. The beautiful goals and experiences are turning into a life’s extra baggage that makes us move slowly or sadly, not move at all. Continue reading “Leaving Life’s Extra Baggage Behind: I Am More Of Myself Now”
Myanmar (I love to call it by its old name, Burma) is one of my dream destinations. After decades of being under the rules of the military junta, it was opened to tourists in 2011. I was always daydreaming of visiting this country. When I saw those photos of Shwedagon Pagoda and the golden hours in Bagan, I promised myself that one day, I’ll go see them right before my eyes.
I made it this year and I guess the world is really full of surprises. I found love at first sight.
Dear 17-year-old self,
I am your future currently roaming around Southeast Asia to avoid going home. You might be disappointed on how you turned out to be me. My younger self, I know you had a lot of things you wanted to achieve. That notebook you got when you were 14 to keep a list of your short-term and long-term goals, I still remember it. I hope you’re happy that you have achieved half of those.