Cautious? Is that what we call it? I don’t think so. It is not just being cautious. That’s not the problem. My problem is that I know the place I always wanted – [that’s everywhere]. I know the kind of things and people I always wanted to be with. I know what I wanted and still want but I can not lift my own foot to take a step. I am too afraid. Ending? I am stuck as always. I am just an old me.
This is an excerpt from my Tumblr blog post in April 2011. Funny how I feel the same six years back. I always admire people who have the courage of getting out of their comfort zone. I believe that’s what everyone should do. On the contrary, my thoughts (as always) do not go into actions. I believe I was pursuing my passion – arts, travel, discovery of things. Going to present (2017), I am still stuck with my 8-5 job. The only difference is that now, I work in Qatar. [EDIT: I filed for a resignation on the 1st of April, 2017. It was no April Fool’s prank.]
I attempted to get out of my comfort zone. I traveled alone to some places. I tried visual arts by teaching myself with the help of online tutorials. I tried doing freelance jobs because as we all know it, whether we accept it or not, I need money to get by. None of these continued.
I just thought it’s all nonsense but the desire is always coming back to haunt me.
I really have no idea on how to end this. Join me as I try to make sense with all my nonsensical thoughts. Come with me as I try to discover my difficult self.