Hola! So this is my first post on this blog. I don’t know what to write to be honest. I think that’s the difficult part – to start. I am just going to let it flow so bear with me.
Maybe an introduction is fine for a first post.
I just quit my job in Qatar. I was an OFW working as Business Development Officer/Sales and Marketing/Social Media Specialist/Google Adwords Expert/Copyreader (LOL. People working in the Middle East should know about the fact that more often than not, you do everything). The pay? It was fine – fine that I was getting the same (basic + commissions) in the Philippines but in GCC, I didn’t have to pay for taxes, accommodation, transportation, electricity, water, and internet bills.
I just worked in Qatar for three months. Unhappy is what I was because of a lot of things. Mainly because of the atmosphere and employer-employee relationship which I don’t want to go into details (yet). I had to reevaluate my goals and ask myself if it’s really worthwhile to bury myself into work and have no life outside it. It was difficult. I went there to support my brother so I can send him to college. I wanted to buy properties and put up my own business and travel – the rat race as they say. Which I think I can achieve if I stay and work there for few years but is it worth it?
I work from 8-5 waking up at 5 every morning and reaching home at 6 or 7 in the evening. Fridays were the only off which I usually spend cleaning my space, doing the laundry, and other adult responsibilities.
At first, it was just all excitement (though already anxious of the visa that the company had given me). I was learning and trying to discover a lot of things. It was great until I discovered the things on the dark side of the situation I was on.
So I had to ask myself again, is it worth it? Is it worth to stay unhappy and get caught up saving money thinking that it will make you happy soon? I always thought that I should have the money to explore and travel. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mean a lot. I always travel on a limited budget if not sponsored. I was too unhappy that I did not care if I had the money or not. To put things short, I quit. I quit not knowing if I can survive after resignation. I quit not knowing what to do next and where to go or how to even start. I was that unhappy that with all the anxieties and questions I had in mind, I still decided to do it.
I thought I was making just another impulsive millennial decision, but as I was boarding the plane from Doha to Dubai (my connecting flight to Kuala Lumpur), I knew that I made the right decision. I was happy. It feels like I had just given myself the long overdue freedom. I am the type of person who always think too much but that time, I was not planning in my mind; I was not thinking of anything; I was just happy and excited.
I was so used to overthink not noticing that I was delaying my own happiness. I had to raise some questions in my mind. Money is a factor but I think it is delaying our happiness. What was I saving money for if I don’t get to do the things that I want even if I have money? I couldn’t answer myself.
Quitting my job without any plans was not easy. Making new decisions need not be easy. I am not even sure if I am ready for this but no one is ever ready. We are just ready for the things that seem to be easy for us.
I do not regret staying in GCC to work. It might not be the expected experience but still, it was an experience. If it was not for that, I won’t know how to make big uncertain decisions.
People close to me know that I’ve been through a lot. I am always the one who seem to have “things figured out,” but let’s be honest here, never did I seem to figure things out. I am not sure on how far this journey will take me or for how long. One thing I’ve learned is to take things slowly but to keep moving. This is just what I want now and I am going to give it a try.
Making this decision feels liberating. I know there are a lot of things to consider but I just refuse to entertain them at the moment. I’ve been thinking too much my whole life and frustrations just have no room in my mind now.
I don’t know what to do but I am going to do something anyways. I don’t know where to go but I am going to keep moving anyways. I don’t know where to start but I am going to start anyways.
Have you made an uncomfortable unplanned decision in your life? How did you feel about it? Feel free to share!